This is the transcription of my journal from my time at SEA! Almost completely unedited! Enjoy:
The helm with Captain Terry in the background
October 12 14:23
It's a strange feeling. I'm trying to grasp the fact that for the next six weeks i'll see almost nothing but water, my shipmates and the sky. In some ways its a sad feeling... You never consider being removed from something as familiar as LAND. Even in foreign countries there's land beneath your feet and something solid to stand on. Maybe that's why everything looks so beautiful right now. It's mostly cloudy, chilly and generally gloomy, but everything look more beautiful than usual. Perhaps it's because the leaves are changing and the trees are amazing shades of yellow, gold and green... but nevertheless, everything looks so wonderful. Our five our car ride up the east coast to Rockland, Maine is zooming by. I still can't believe i'm leaving. I'm so unbelievably excited, but i'm beyond nervous as well. I feel extremely blessed and special to be doing this program. I already feel like a different person and we're only half way done. I'm nervous about not being able to communicate but I guess thats all a part of it. I'm ready to challenge myself completely during during these next six weeks. My sense of adventure is tingling more and more as we approach Rockland! I've decided that I don't want to look back on this trip and regret not doing something, so i'm going to do it all and document it at the same time! My nerves seem to be winning for now... gotta nap it off, Can't wait to tell everyone about the ship!!
October 12 22:00
Amazing. We haven't even sailed or moved from the dock, but this is already amazing. When I got here with Margaret, Paige, Rosie and Rachel, I essentially blacked out with excitement. I don’t really know what happened or what I said. My phone and passport were taken immediately. I found my bunk which is in the main saloon directly behind the tables we eat at. I threw all my crap inside and went on deck to look around. The SSV Corwith Cramer is every bit as wonderful and beautiful as I imagined... and maybe even a bit more! I was told which watch I was on, my number and we started learning immediately. I am on B watch (there is an A, B and C watch) with Zach, Lucas, Lauren, Marge, Lydia and Franny and a deck hand named Tammi. She seems like a nice lady. She's friendly and used to be an ER doctor. I'm sure this would comfort my family and friends to know I have a licensed doctor on my watch! My number is 13. This is essentially how I know where I am on what day and at what time. There are five watch periods.
Dawn Watch 0300-0700
Morning Watch 0700-1300
Afternoon Watch 1300-1900
Evening Watch 1900-2300
Mid Watch 2300-0300
We have lists posted everywhere with the date, the five watches and then there are five categories and whichever category your number is under is where you are for that particular watch. The five categories are deck, lab, engine, dishes, and assistant steward. Usually 3 or 4 people were on deck, 3 or 4 in lab and one in the engine room, one on dishes and every day one person was assistant steward for the entire day.
Well anyway, we dove into learning immediately. We met our watch officers for the first phase, Rachel (second mate) and Carla (one of the assistant scientists). They both seem so fun! I can't wait to get to know them better. We went through endless intro and info sessions, had dinner, had more info sessions and then were sent to bed. Seasickness hasn't been a problem yet, but probably because we're still in port. My bunk is larger than I expected! I can't wait for this adventure to start and tonight, as I sleep for my first night aboard the Cramer, I can literally only dream of whats to come! Oh yeah, and my first few hours on board were commemorated with a dousing of water from a hose... very appropriate but chilly in the cool Maine air!
October 13 11:47
My bunk is actually pretty comfortable! It's really not that different from my bunk on shore. We woke up this morning at 0620 or 0700 or something and had about 10 minutes to get ready. I had been groggily awake since 0400 when Ashley (the steward) and Christy started cooking. We had delicious breakfast burritos. We were informed that it was raining and all donned our 'foulies' (foul weather gear... or duck suits). We learned every safety drill in the book and what we personally have to do for each one. B watch is in charge of sails for almost all drills. In the case of a fire emergency we strike the sails so they don't catch. For a man overboard situation we have to manipulate the sails to hove to (meaning to stop the ship). Myles, who is eating lunch right now, says hi. And he is the coolest person on this boat.
I got to set and strike my first sail today! We were in port but it was still awesome! We also ran through our abandon ship drills which was intimidating but good. We're having lunch now, but we're pulling away soon and this is all real! I'm really excited to work in the engine room with Pete and to learn more about the sails and sail handling. I love it all!!!
The Cramer!
October 13 19:17
Pulling out of port was AMAZING. It was the most exhilarating feeling. We were waved good bye by some of the dock workers. We backed out, pulled a U-ie and started motoring out of the harbor. Within an hour we were ready to put up sails! We raised the fore stays'l, the main stays'l and the mains'l. It was amazing raising our first real sails of the trip. They look so beautiful! After all the sail work was done I was free to do whatever until my watch at 2300-0300. I decided to sleep. When I woke for dinner I thought the rolling ship was super fun!! But as soon as I sad down for dinner I knew it was time to puke. But unlike at home when you get sick, you can't just puke in the sink. You have to puke over the side of the ship... SO.. since its raining, you have to put on foulies and boots and your harness... just to puke!! you have to hold a lot in. It's hard to describe what the rolling feel likes... it's kind of like constantly riding a roller coaster... but its all big drops, over and over again. Constantly dropping your stomach out from under you. Its fun and miserable all at once! I'm at a puke tally of 2 so far... but laying down really helps so by my watch this tally will inevitably rise. :(
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ALEX! :) I LOVE YOU
October 14 0320
Puke count is closer to 8 now... not exactly sure. On watch we learned how to observe the weather, take lab observations and how to vomit on the leeward side (away from the wind). We're really good at it now. We did some sail handling and lots.. LOTS of puking. Water, meclazine and sleep are my best friends.
October 14 1951
I slept for a long time. Through breakfast... and got up for a B watch meeting and lunch. During lunch of bit of my seasickness seemed to be coming back, but by the time I got to the deck it was much better. I was on deck watch s I got to man the helm.. which means drive the boat! It actually takes a lot of focus to stay on course. There is always a course ordered by the captain, but a lot of times that course isn't quite as obtainable as we would hope due to wind direction, so there is also a course steered. I also got to be lookout on the bow for a while when some fog rolled in. It's an amazing place on the boat.. I felt much more alone up there looking out at the ocean. Bow watch is for watching for boats coming near us. Today our progress got us all the way into the arm of the cape and as we were relieved of watch by C watch, they were preparing to jibe the boat (turn it) and begin to head up the arm and into the Sargasso Sea! I really like this lifestyle. It's structure but relaxed... on a timeline but with a rotating schedule so everyone does everything. Even if your watch is shitty you know that the other crews will have to do it too and when you hear of a great watch, you realize that you 'll get to do it too! Everything pays off and its all phenomenal. I honestly can't complain about a single thing.
Using the head is kind of hilarious. ON the first day I avoided peeing for as long as possible so I didn't have to figure it out... Basically, you have to enter the head, close the door and then turn on the light. The toilet bowl is TINY but you do your business and then you close the lid and you have to pump “your business” through a tube that is probably 2 inches in diameter.... using a little black lever, you pump back and forth while adding a little water with another lever. It's complicated and if you do it wrong, your business in stuck in the tube and then you or the engineer and his helper (which could be you) have to clean it up. GROSS.
Sounds on the boat are really amazing. Just within my bunk I can hear water rushing by the side of the ship, the constant click of the depth finder, Chirpii, footsteps above and below deck, the buzzing hum of the generator, whispers and the occasional slam or banging of some metal object in the Galley. It's a lot to take in but honestly its pretty soothing. As is the rocking of the ship. Of course above deck the sounds are completely different... and the rocking above deck is a little less soothing...
October 18 1800
So I've been out of commission for the past four days sick out of my mind. I'm feeling much better today, but don't have much time to write. I'm just going to make some notes quickly about the stuff I want to write about later. So things to look forward too:
-Boat Traffic
-Furling Mainstays'l
-Puking more than ever before
-Bow watch
-Mahi Mahi
-Line Chase
-Jibing/Tacking
October 21 1718
Going back in time!
So, one of the days I was feeling slightly less awful I was at the helm ready to call for relief to puke at any seconds, but we had a lot of boat traffic. We were just off George's Bank I think and there were a bunch of fishing boats around. With boat traffic there's really no problem unless the other boats closest Point of approach (CPA) is under 3 nautical miles. (Just for reference, 1 nautical miles is about 1.15 miles). When this happens, we contact the ship via radio if their course seems to be intersecting ours and then if they are coming extremely close, Terry, our captain, emerges from his aft cabin and glares down the ship. The specific traffic problem that happened when I was at the helm was with a fishing ship. This particular ship was coming extremely close and Terry appeared and he watched them. Then Terry and the second mate Rachel told me to turn towards the ship. LITERALLY directly towards the ship! Bow beelining towards he fishing boat. This was because our paths were crossing at a sort of diagonal. So instead of racing to pass, we turned toward them and let them zip by us before going directly on our course again. It was slightly terrifying and exhilarating and fascination to watch. It was cool to see how sea traffic works in a real life sense because we learned about it on land but seeing it happen was even more amazing.
We had to strike and furl the mainstays'l one night … which means to bring it down and fold it up. And this was one of the few times I honestly thought I might die right then and there. So the boat was rocking heavily and the wind was high. To furl this sail you have to climb on top of the lab which is probably 6 or 7 ft off the deck. And it was raining, so there's the rocking ship, flapping sails and slippery roof then they tell us to get up there and do stuff. I was terrified but I knew I just had to do it. At one point the ship was totally rocked over all I could see was water below me and i'm furling the sail and I start slipping down the lab roof. I seriously thought it was the end. Luckily.. I survived! But it was seriously terrifying.
I don't even want to talk about how many times I puked. Literally more than ever before in my life ever. I would sleep through meals, get up and outside for watch for watch as soon as possible and then puke at least four times a watch. For the first 2 days this was mostly everyone's routine but mine kept up for a week. I ate about 1 saltine a day.. any more and I puked everywhere. Even with 1 saltine I puked a lot. Towards the end of my awful seasickness I honestly started to loose hope. Three days here feels like a week so with five or six days of puking I really was losing it. I guess its a really interesting mental test... but I tried not to complain, did as much work as I could in between puking and in the end was labeled the Master of puking and rallying.
After I started feeling better, I got to do all these new exciting things. Bow watch is the most amazing experience. You stand at the bow alone in the dark and scan the horizon for ships or anything else you might see. But above you is an endless sea of stars, more than you've ever seen before, or ever thought were possible. The milky way is swimming above you and glittering, glistening and rising from the tea kettle. Below you the unfathomable depths of the sea... which I actually know to be nearly 5200 meters... the mysteries of what's below you and then on the surface is beautiful bio-luminescence so. So you have twinkling stars above and below you. You feel utterly alone up there but in the best way possible. You're alone on top of the world in the most serene and beautiful place ver. I sing to myself up there for sure. One night we saw some dolphins and they like to swim off the bow of the ship so we went up there and they were glimmering and glowing under the water. It was truly magnificent.
Sully, the first mate worked on catching some Mahi the other day. They are really beautiful fish! They are extremely bright green and yellow and HUGE..
We spent an entire afternoon jibing and tacking which is turning the boat away and into the wind. It involves a lot of sail handling so it was a tiring afternoon. It's really interesting to learn and consider all the theory behind the sail and ship maneuvering. It's something you don't really think about until someone asks you how to flip a boat around.
October 23 1934
Today I started to feel a bit more in control of myself. I was remembering to do things on the hour, offering reminders to do things, I was even put in charge for a while when there was a staff meeting. (well... put in charge while Terry watched over us) I got to chat with Terry and learn a littler more about him which is inevitably fascinating. I got to shoot my first twilight star! The first star I shot was Altair and I got it down, but it got too cloudy for me to get any other stars, so sadly I couldn’t get a star fix on our location.
I honestly love everything about this lifestyle. It's teaching me so much about the world and about myself. I would do this over and over again, a million times.
Stars are probably the coolest thing in the world. Learning about them has fascinated me more and more. I wish I could just spend the nights laying on the deck staring at the stars. I've learned so many and seen Galaxies and nebulae and learned the stories and i'm still enthralled. I want to know it all!!
October 26 1916
21! Whooooo!! it was a relaxed day but I felt really homesick for the first time this semester. I think reading all my birthday cards and seeing words of love from all my friends and family really set me off. It was definitely hard to not talk to my family on my birthday for the first time. I also somehow got to puke on my 21st without a drop of substance! Thank you seasickness! I don’t feel that different but at the same time I know that i'm changing all the time here, always improving myself and how I approach life. I want to enjoy every moment of my life so I really want to start setting myself up for enjoyment in everything I do. I'm going to work extremely hard to avoid activities that I don’t enjoy.
On the other side of my homesickness today, I was reminded that I have amazing friends here and amazing people surrounding me. Overall it was a great day... and probably one of my most interesting birthdays to date!
We've switched to Phase II – the shadow phase – and I've already had my fill of shadowing. Its pretty stressful but empowering at the same time. And it really makes you appreciate the responsibilities of being at sea and running a ship. I really have enjoyed it so far. Sully and Emily are our new watch officers (Mate and Assistant Scientist, respectively) and they are really different from Rachel and Carla. But they are equally as awesome. Sully is quite the character. He joined the Coast Guard very young and has being a seafarer ever since. Hes super intense but hilarious and knows when and how to have a good laugh here and there. Emily is quiet until you ask her questions and then she'll open up to you easily! She's also a bit more strict than Carla was but every person teaches differently!
Shelley pointed this out to me and I've really started to notice it now. It's hard not being able to choose who you get to hang out with on a day to day basis. I love B watch with all my heart, but when you're forced to be with someone, in any capacity, it adds a bit of strain.
Me and Kelsey!
October 30 1700
It's interesting to really get to know the intricacies of peoples personalities and to see how other people react to learning these things about each other. Personality nuances bug people for sure.
This is going by so quickly! In 9 days we're supposed to be in Bequia. In about a week and a half were supposed to be almost down with our research projects! Liz and I haven't even started ID-ing/learning to ID pteropods. It's getting a little stressful. More and more... not only is project work due soon, the JWO (Junior Watch Officer)/ JLO (Junior Lab Officer) phase is quickly approaching. Phase III is when each student gets the opportunity to be in charge of the ship (essentially). It's unbelievable how much we've learned so quickly. I'm impressed by everyone on the ship for working so hard. And I feel like no one has really freaked out yet... whether its for stress or homesickness... no ones really truly lost it yet. Thats impressive in itself!
I miss home but I honestly think I miss talking to people whenever I want. I would LOVE to call my sister right now and just talk for an hour. But at the same time I love knowing nothing about the world. I feel so disconnected but I love it. Communication with family would be awesome, but even more so I enjoy the introspective feeling of being at sea. I feel responsible and in charge, not only of the information but more in charge of myself than ever before. I'm better at understanding what I do and don't know and i'm better at voicing the fact that I do or don’t know something. I think that's a big step for me. Being able to ask for hep. It's extremely important.
October 31 1922
I brought a lot of books with me on the ship and they've helped me put my experience in perspective. I've copied down a bunch of quotes that mean something to me... for some reason or another!
Hemingway – The Old Man and The Sea
“ 'Thank you' the old man said. He was too simple to wonder when he had attained humility. But he knew he had attained it and he knew it was not disgraceful and it carried no loss of true pride.”
“...as he rowed he heard the trembling sound as flying fish left the water and the hissing that their stiff set wings made as they soared away in the darkness.”
“Why did they make birds so delicate and fine as those sea swallows when the ocean can be so cruel?”
“[The sea] is kind and very beautiful. But she can be so cruel and it comes so suddenly and such birds that fly, dipping and hunting, with their small sad voices are made too delicately for the sea.”
“But the old man always thought of her as feminine and as something that gave or withheld great favors, and if she did wild or wicked things it was because she could not help them. The moon affects her as it does a woman, he thought.”
“My choice was to go there to find him beyond all people. Beyond all people in the world. Now we are joined together and have been since noon. And no one to help either one of us.”
“But, thank god, they are not as intelligent as we who kill them; although they are more noble and more able.”
“The setting of the sun is a difficult time for all fish.”
“A man can be destroyed but not defeated.”
Vonnegut – Cat's Cradle
“ 'Ladies and Gentlemen. I stand before you now because I never stopped dawdling like an eight-year-old on a spring morning oh his way to school. Anything can make me stop and look and wonder, and sometimes, learn. I am a very happy man. Thank you.' ”
I am so happy here. I am surrounded by amazing interesting and loving people. There's so much laughter and discovery on this ship. It kind of innocent and beautiful. We're learning for the sake of knowledge and adventure on a relative island of our own in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Separated from the mundane distractions on shore and immersed in a completely unknown and foreign country, we're (almost) all still thriving and learning and loving it. It's really humbling to me. There's no competition to be better than another person, there's no facebook, no texting, no societal pressures... its heaven.
Tropic birds and flying fish are definitely making my top 10 list of best creatures in the world. They are amazingly, awesomely beautiful!
I LOVE THESE PEOPLE!
November 1 2000
Last night the whole whip was woken up and called up on to the science deck. We were told there was an emergency and that Terry wanted everyone on deck and in a known place. After about four or five minutes on deck Carla came up and told us that Emily's “infection” had gotten worse and that we were trying to get approval from SEA and the Coast guard to give her an injection of something. Then there was lots of screaming and yelling from below decks by the crew and Emily and suddenly Carla took five people below with her. I think I realized it then. But I started to put 2 and 2 together and the story started to unravel. Then I realized it was all a Halloween joke, and the crew had turned the entire ship into a haunted house. At the time I was obscenely GRUMPY because we had been woken up from our three hour nap for a 45 minute prank and I had to get up in about an hour and be the shadow. But looking back on it, it was all in good fun and it was really well done! So when I got up after napping for a little under an hour, I had watch. I was the shadow meaning I was kind of in charge... or rather learning how to be in charge, and it was a night FULL of squalls. It was stressful and full of rain and gusty winds and Sully just basically barked orders at me for about an hour and a half. In the end, after talking it all through it started to make more sense and I really got a better appreciation for Sully's knowledge of the sea.
I was sitting on deck earlier tonight just looking at the stars, and it started to hit me how far we are from things and how alone that can make you feel. It's not necessarily a bad thing either, although its absolutely overwhelming. Feeling alone, physically, is a hard thing to come by today. People are everywhere and evidence of people are everywhere, eve in the woods/mountains... but at sea, you look 360 degrees around you, for ~5 nautical miles in every direction, and you see nothing. Nothing but blue beautiful water and gorgeous blue skies. Where are the people? Where's any evidence that people are around? There honestly isn't any. It's amazing in so many ways. Bobby Darin sang about this exactly. We are somewhere beyond the sea.
November 2 1400
Yesterday was thoroughly frustrating. We had a 'friendly' jibing competition during class between the three watches. B watch had to go first and we got half way through, doing GREAT, and then kind of fell apart and got frustrated with each other. Then to top it all off, certain people were making snide comments to s and saying things like “so... what are you guys doing exactly?” I was pissed. And embarrassed. Because I feel like B watch always flubs in front of the whole crew. But we're really good on watch! So I was annoyed about that, then I did my first pteropod 100 count which was obscenely tedious and made me nauseous. Then after all that I came down for dinner and Justin had fallen on the gimmbled table, launching the water jug into my bunk off the dinner table. It was just the kind of thing on that kind of day that made me SUPER angry and upset. But it was actually really lucky... only my mattress, sheets and curtains got wet, so that was easy enough because there are extra mattress and sheets on the ship so I didn't have to sleep in a wet bed! And my camera, which was inches away from the spill, remained dry! ALSO, it was just water... so that was lucky as well! I guess I learned a lot from the day, but it was an annoyed frustrated kind of learning... which is not my favorite.
November 4 1024
Vonnegut – Cat's Cradle
“After the thing went off, after it was a sure thing that America could wipe out a city with just one bomb, a scientist turned to Father and said - 'science has now known sin.' And do you know what father said? He said, 'What is sin?' ”
November 5 2030
I feel like a lot has happened so quickly. In the past few days we went from trying to make the record for SEA's most southern trip, to having to make a run W x N to get away from a tropic wave! (a tropic wave is a low pressure system that can turn into a hurricane) We went from nothing but ship, seas and sky to being within sight of Barbados and most importantly of all, we switched from phase II to Phase III, the Junior Watch Officer Phase! We now, if chosen for a particular shift, are in charge of the whole ship while on watch. It's as if we become Mates and the mates just become deck hands. The only way this works is by the real mates essentially loaning us their lisences for each watch. That's terrifying for everyone involved. It scares me because Id on't want to do anything to jeopardize the mates' licenses, but it must be terrifying for the mates as well. It takes an amazing amount of trust and faith in our abilities for them to do this. I feel confident that i've gained enough knowledge and experience at this point but its still nerve racking to be put in such an important, responsible and dependent position. Terry also has to be on call al the time. We have to wake him when weather changes, ships are close... or, just generally whenever we're in doubt of something. I think that's a lot of other pressure on the students as well. When to wake or not to wake Terry.
On a lighter note, today I was the assistant steward which was extremely fun. Ashley is amazingly funny and witty. She kept me entertained the entire day. She is refereed to as the Galley Troll (lovingly of course). So today she was the Troll in Charge (TIC) an dI was the Troll in Training (TIT) and whoever was dish bitch (aka doing the dishes) was the Troll of Al Dishes (TOAD). It was a full day of cynical humor and laughs. We also had field day which is every saturday. It's a huge deep cleaning of the entire ship. Its the one time we get music and we literally clean everything. Its disgusting how much dirt builds up in a week eve though we're on a ship and we do dawn cleanup and galley clean up EVERYDAY. But in the end, it really is satisfying. After this field day we were told there would be a deck shower and that everyone should partake in because there would be no regular showers that day. I, as the TIT, couldn't really partake because TIC and I had to go make dinner. So I watched as all my shipmates lathered themselves down on deck and got all hosed up/down in the fire hose. It looked fun and I was very bitter... and dirty. That is until the Captain came to the galley himself and granted me special permission to shower later/after dinner... as long as I made pizza with pineapple and pepperoni on it for dinner. Terry's the best.
Having land in sight again is really bizarre. I'm not sure I really like it, to be honest. We'll see how the next few days go...
November 7 2040
BEQUIA! Today we sailed/motored into port! B watch was on so we got to do a lot of the preparation for the anchoring. During class we were told the rules of port stops... aka be on time for your rides back to the ship, don't get wasted, don’t do drugs, etc... Then we got to work striking and furling all the sails. A bunch of us got to go aloft and harbor furl the squares'ls. As we were furling we were drifting into Bequia... which honestly looks like the Jurassic Park Island... and the sun was setting. It was honestly one of the mostly beautiful nights of my life. Then once we were anchored we got to have a swim call! We all got to jump in and goof off and jump off the bowsprit and swim for the first time all trip! It was fantastic. Then we got to have deck showers which are more fun than normal showers for some reason...
Now here we are anchored in Bequia in Admiralty Bay, still not officially let into the country by customs. We're within swimming distance of land... and we can't go there yet. I'm also getting a feeling I want to term as the television effect. It looks like we're just watching all of this island life happen around us and we don't actually have any input here. Observing from the outside-in is pretty bizarre. I don't know if I really enjoy it yet, being so close to land. But maybe tomorrow will help with that. I hope I can find a way to talk to my family, but if not... soon enough. The end of this obscenely awesome semester is coming so quickly... too quickly... and I can't do anything to slow it down. So all I can really do is make the most of everything that presents itself as an opportunity to learn and grow. I already feel like I've gotten so much out of this program and I can't wait for more.
November 08 2211
Today was day one of the two days we get on land in Bequia. It was a fantastic day. I started my morning early on watch at 0500 with Lucas for an hour and we got to watch the sun rise over the island. It was amazing!! Then Terry had to venture into Bequia to take our passports to customs and get us cleared through customs! We he finally returned we got to take the small boats to the island. We were dropped off in front of a nice little restaurant on the “Frangipani” dock where we waited for the rest of our crew for the day. We met a cute little stray dog that we named Ralph. He followed us around a lot but was covered in fleas... so we tended to avoid him a bit. After getting our crew together we headed into town. We stopped off at an internet cafe to call/Skype/text home. Unfortunately my headphones didn't work so I couldn't call anyone. But I got some test out to the family so they knew I was alive! :) Next we wandered and talked to all the friendly Bequian people and wandered some more. We stopped for lunch and surprisingly had an extremely American style lunch of Pizza and Coke. After that we wandered some more and started spending some of the money we saved by not being on land for 4 ½ weeks. We met so many wonderful and nice people who gave us (usually) great deals and good advice on where to eat and visit. After that we went to find half the group that had disappeared. Once we had them in tow we split up based on which afternoon activities we wanted to partake in. Either the afternoon hike to a beach or a visit to a turtle sanctuary. I went to see the turtles! We hired a cool taxi/truck with an open back and took a hilly, scenic and windy 15 minute drive to the other side of the island and went to Old Heggs Turtle Sanctuary. The owner told us his awesome inspiration for starting the sanctuary. So the beach where the sanctuary is, is located in a place where he went with his family all the time to swim and play. One day he was sitting in the sang and a sea turtle came right up on the shore near him and dug a hole and laid her eggs. He said it was beautiful and he and his family often put up fences to protect the eggs. A few wees later he was on the beach with friends and had forgotten the eggs. They started hatching and the confused little turtles started crawling around the beach trying to find their way to the ocean. He told us that something like 1 in 3,000 sea turtle babies survive to adulthood... so he was struck with inspiration. He scooped up the babies in a bucket and decided to raise them. So now he has a bunch of tanks on that beach full of sea turtles of all ages and he raises them to maturity and releases them into the wild. He was a truly great man and he pays crazy amounts of money to keep his organization going. Also at the sanctuary were some awesome dogs and goats and sheep. It was an animal filled day! After getting our taxi back to port Elizabeth, we walked more, ate fresh beautiful mangoes and watched the sun set behind the SSV Corwith Cramer in Admiralty Bay. We had a great dinner at Tommy's. I had my first legal (though legal here is 18) drinks at dinner (Margaritas!!) and we ended the night right, with good food and company. I always forget how much I love visiting new place, meeting new people and learning about new places. Today made me extremely excited for my semester in New Zealand. Tomorrow B watch has a 24 hour watch and we have to keep the ship in tip top shape al day! But then on Thursday we get another fun day of beautiful friendly Bequia. I can honestly say the past 48 hours have been some of the best of my life.
sailing into Bequia
Frangipani Dock with Kelsey
Me with a Turtle!!
The sun setting on our first day in Bequia. That me and Marge there.
Margaritas with Kels.
November 9 2000
“He who has a Why to live for and bear almost any How” - Nietzsche
Having a day off was so great. I feel like I got so much down and yet did nothing. Swim call is always great and having the ship to ourselves was great as well. Its amazing to think about how incredibly close we've all become. Nothing is really a secret... it's kind of like ask, and I'll tell. I love it. I feel so comfortable being myself and voicing my opinions, and I know i'm going to miss everyone so much... but I don't wanted to think about that now. I just want to enjoy this all I can.
I think this lifestyle is amazing. I honestly love it so much and I want to be sailing again. Was to sail handle and problem solve and work my brain and body all at once. Every moment on this ship is a challenge an every challenge present the opportunity for me to succeed, or fail, to try again and grow. One of the things I've learned is that i'm very perceptive and observant which according to many people here is a great quality for this program and sailing in general. I think this trip has been a huge turning point in my life. I've found something I really love to do and I've been having the best time regardless of the shitty times. I still love it all. The 'shitty' times here don't even compare to many mediocre or good times I've had on shore. LOVE IT.
Bequia from the ship
Beach Day
November 13 2027
I had Sully evaluate me for Phase II the other day and he said some awesome things. He called me extremely intelligent and personable and was extremely complimentary. He told me he really didn't have much for me to work on, so that made me feel even better. It's really awesome when people notice in you (well notice and voice) qualities that you've glimpsed in yourself before. I really love how observant our watch officers have been and how deeply they discuss/contemplate what we need to work on and what we're good at. I'm getting so excited to make it to St. Croix... but I can't believe it's almost over. Less than 6 days! How had this happened :(
My second JWO command of the ship is tomorrow... here we go!!
November 15 1348
The past few days have been awesome! I had my second JWO last night and everything went really well. I almost wish more had happened but then I think about that more and change my mind. We've come up on st. Barts at this point, after passing St. Lucia, Antigua, Barbuda, Nevis, St Kitts and many more little islands. Its really strange seeing land from so far away and not really getting close enough to see people or ships. I've started talking with people, Zach mostly, about how we can describe this experience fully to someone. Essentially our conclusion was that we can't. And Rocky (the 3rd mate) agreed. It's going to be so bizarre to not be able to share this completely with everyone I love. But at the same time I feel like I can always have this group of 35 people to share this with. Sully read us an excerpt from Turning the Rig by Harvey Oxenhorn today:
“In the talk tonight, I began with my own experience. We had a good laugh as I recalled my romantic expectations before coming on and my indignation and frustration once I was aboard. When I mentioned how everyone else seemed to have it more together, it emerged that each one of us had thought that about all the others. Everyone felt scared and stupid. Angry, too, when asked to things that we clearly weren't ready for. What sticks in my mind most of all, I said, was the longing for something – anything – to just STAY PUT. For the deck to stop moving, for the food to sit still in the plate and the plate to sit still on the table, for the compass to stop swinging every time I took the wheel.
Looking back, it seems clear that the mates did not expect us to be competent. What we were meant to learn in those first few days - what mattered most – was not a particular set of skills but a new way of thinking. Being mindful. We were being trained to notice everything, to make that level of awareness so habitual that it became unconscious, to pay attention in the same way one pays out line...
… To get in the habit of asking questions was to get in the habit of answering them yourself. What you gained in the process, when allowed to make your own mistakes, we self reliance, the ability and the desire to follow through.
Along with such independence, learned alone, came a second lesson: interdependence. All those rules! The way the dishes were done. Being woken up fr morning meeting, even when there was nothing to discuss, having everybody drink the same strength coffee. But again, the main point wasn't the rules themselves. Nor was it to demonstrate someone's authority. Rather, it was to break down the habit of a mind that makes exceptions and desires special treatment. To replace it with a habit of heart called unity.
People around the cabin nodded. Bit by bit, I added, we began to accept, without having it defined, a code of service: of doing whatever you are doing well. Not because someone will check up or will reward you, but because the ships very functioning assumes that individual commitments be sustained in private for the public good. So much of the pressure on land is toward seeking loopholes in order to excel; at sea it is toward refusing them in order to belong.”
I think this description scratches the surface of it all, but it's still only the surface.
A Twilight Uke Concert
November 16 1936
Anchoring in St. Barts was so amazing. We had morning class full of research project presentations and then got to go swimming! I had gone aloft before class ad noticed all of the sea turtles around. When we jumped in many of us got to use snorkel masks and there was a turtle right below us in the water! We all watched it and then it started to swim up towards us and came so close! We could also see starfish on the bottom and a huge barracuda swimming under the boat while we swam. The water was so amazingly clear. Once we left St. Barts we headed on and on towards St. Croix and St. John's (customs!!). Liz and I present our pteropod project and it went great! Later I was put on bow watch as the sun was setting. I'm almost positive that I saw the green flash as the sun set! Then as the sky was splitting into beautiful shades of orange, yellow, lavender and blue a huge pod of dolphins came and swam and played around the bow. It was a beautiful night and really made me worry that i'm going to no only miss this, but long for it again once i'm gone.
Playing on the bow during a Swim Call
Swim Call as viewed from aloft!
November 19 0700
“Exultation is the Going”
Exultation is the going
Of an inland soul to sea,
Past the houses- past the headlands-
into deep eternity -
Bred as we, among the mountains
can the sailor understand
The divine intoxication
of the first league out from land?
-Emily Dickinson
“The Wanderer”
The ships are lying in the bay
The gulls are winging 'round their spars,
My soul, as much as they,
Desire the margins of the stars.
So much do I love wandering,
So much I love the Sea and Sky
That it would be a piteous thing,
In one small grave to lie”
Zoe Akens
May all your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous
Leading to the most amazing view
Where something strange
More beautiful and more full of wonder than your deepest dreams awaits for you
Edward Abbey
“Sea Fever”
I must down to the seas again, to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship, and a star to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face, and a grey dawn breaking.
I must down to the seas again, for the call of the running tide,
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flying spray and the brown spume, and the seagulls crying.
I must down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the fulls way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetter knife;
And all I ask is a merry yam from a laughing fellow-rover,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.
John Masefield
Aloft with Kelsey
Loving Life
November 23 0900
I fell so far behind on my journal! Everything just happened so quickly. After leaving St. Bart's we took off into the ocean again and made our way towards the British and US virgin Islands. When w finally got closer B watch had Dawn Watch. As the sun slowly rose we came up on Round Rock channel leading in to the center of all the islands. After my watch I joined kelsey aloft and we sat there for almost two hours. We talked about how amazing the trip had been, how much it meant to us and both got a little teary thinking about the end. I feel so unbelievable close to Kelsey WE bonded to much and not having her around is so hard. But we're both dedicated to finding ways to see each other. After being aloft for so long, I headed to bed for a bit. When I woke up we had come into St. John and anchored. Oe small boat group at a time we had to go to shore and pass through customs. After we got back from customs we raised anchor and moved to a different part of St. John to anchor for the night and next day. On friday we got up and had a HUGE deep clean of the ship. We also got to harbor furl the course and James and I got to call it. It was so much fun! Then we had to clean out our bunks which was nasty but necessary. After field day we got a nice long swim call and deck shower. Later, Maia and Rachel organized and put on the “Schooner Olympics”. It was lots of fun! One competition was like an egg race but with onions, then there was a knot tying race to tie a giant bowline around a partner while being hosed down with the fire hose. Next there was a life-ring race and emersion suit race and then the event I participated in was pouring a bucket of water from aloft into a graduated cylinder on your partners head on deck. My team won! But it was a seriously hilarious time.
Later that night we had Swizzle after a long cook out on the deck. It was a cookout of deck and we put up cute strings of lights and lamps. The whole ships company was pulled together and got to eat and relax together for once. Swizzle is an end of trip talent show of sorts and its kind of open to whatever! Each watch did something fun and there were other small groups that did stuff as well. For example, we started the swizzle with a toast. Terry toasted us and thanked the gods for our safe journey (As is tradition on all vessels). Then lots of little groups preformed. Chuck rapped about the ocean. Rachel made up a pictionary-like game, Ashley made a last will and testament leaving students different galley items (I got the whole store of meclazine). Then paige , Carla and I sang a bunch of ukulele songs including one we wrote. A watch wrote most-likely to's for many people and Maia told a joke. Then B watch wrote and preformed a silly story that I read. It was about B watch taking over the ship and how we would run it. C watch pretty much forgot to do anything so they pulled us in a circle and we sang a cute song. Then to close the night, Sully taught us a sea shanty. It was an emotional end to the night. It was called “Leave her, Johnny, Leave her” and it was a sea shanty about the end of a voyage and having to say goodbye to the crew and ship. It was an amazing night and all I could think was how unbelievably lucky and blessed I was to get to do this and how I never wanted it to end.
I don't think I'll ever have a comparable experience to this ever again. I've never been so close to 22 people in such a short amount of time. I love them all so much and being separated from them, having each one say goodbye to me within four days was heart breaking. I felt like I'd lost so much as each one left, but I realized now that I just gave little bits of myself to all of them and they gave the same to me. And now I have family all over the country and I love them so much. I hope and pray that i'll see all of them again soon. They mean more to me than almost anything. Without them, the trip wouldn't have been the same... or nearly as good.
